Who I was before my Lord and wife.

I haven't always been a christian. Heck, I've spent the first 20 years of my life just wondering who I am in the world. I wasn't a social butterfly in school at all. Chubby and soft spoken are two traits that scream 'pick on me!' Those experiences led to me acting out against people who didn't deserve it. You know, bully like behavior. Why wouldn't I be angry? I come from the cliche broken family. Deadbeat dad gets sick of watching his son. Kicks him out of the house and leaves him with the overworked mother. Granted my dad did work a lot, he didn't do it for me as far as I was concerned. My father showed me how to roll a joint at the ripe old age of about 7, maybe 8. It was a skill that would serve me in the years to come. I think he worked hard to get more pot and whatever else he was doing. I lived with my father for about a year after the divorce. The time I was there was crazy.
Dad worked at the base and had to leave for work around 530 or so in the morning. Everyday that I had to go to school I was woken up at 5am to the sounds of Queen's 'Keep yourself alive' blaring in my ears. I had a bed, but we rented it out to various individuals. There was a waitress named Diana who worked at one of the local strip clubs. Then there was Jeff, or Geoff, however he spelled it. I remember him because for some reason he had to have a duffel bag full of condoms. Both of them lived like there was no kid that lived in the house. I had seen them both naked numerous times, seen them both have sex with whoever they brought home. So, clearly it was a great place for a child to be living. Since my room was for rent, i either slept in bed with my father, I don't remember if he was clothed or not, or i slept on the couch. After I was woken up I was whisked off to my grandma's house. I would walk to the elementary school down the street from there. I would come home from school and wait for my dad to come and get me. I would see him for about an hour or so, then it was off to his night job. He 'threw' pizzas for the local pizza hut. He worked till about 2am or so. I don't how he managed to keep up with the hours. But the time he was gone I was at home alone. I did my own laundry, i 'fed myself, i cleaned. I worried about: bills,getting shot, killed, taken, you know, all the things kids need to worry about. What a time to need some peace. (If I had only known then what I know now.)